What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas

VEGASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! 

Yah baby!!!!!!!  It's about time I got a break from the daily grind - wooohoooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love the night life baby!!!!!  Let's go!!!!!!!

 

Oh yah, I'm feeling lucky tonight!

You know - gambling, drinking & crazy women are not the only interesting things about Vegas.  There are lots of other cultural events and attractions - like museums, coservatories, galleries, and gardens....NOT!!!!!!!  Those things are just tourist propaganda to get more people out here so they can drink, gamble, and check out the craaaaazzzyyy women!

You sure the rest of the guys went that way?????

I don't remember if I'm going out or if I just got in...........

SNOWMAGGEDON '11

Only in SNOWKLAHOMA!!!!!!!
Me 'n a few friends riding out Snowmaggedon '11.  So much for global warming!

Jamaican Me Craaaaazzzzzyyyyy!

Couldn't stand another minute of this freezing Oklahoma winter - so much for global warming!!!  Can't even figure out if it's winter or spring - one day it's so cold you gotta dress like a piggie-in-a-blanket and the next it's almost tropical.  Speaking of tropical...  hello, Jamaica!!!!!!!!

Oh yah!  Five Star Accomodations!!!!

A lady friend I found on the beach.  Hey!!  Leave my lady friend alone!!!  We're not bothering anybody!!!!  I'm serious, dude - back off!!!!!

My waitress lady friends - they make a mean Mai Tai.

Chillaxin' on othe beach



Weeeeeee!!!  Weeeeee!!!!!  Weeeeee!!!!!!
I don't wanna go home!!!!!!!!



All good things must come to and end...

Happy New Year!

Shou . . ol quaintnce . . be dorgot . . . aaannn . . neber bought . .  ta . . hmnd ?
Shou . .  ol . .  quatance . . be  . . bordot  aaannnnnn . . olllllllllll  lnang zyhesss ?

EVRBODEEE SIG!

Por olllll hang synnnnn . . . ma beer, bor olllll mang sighssss . . . me'll make a pup of mindmess bet . . . por awlllll bang zye.

Merry Christmas!

It's the most wonderful time of the year ... you know with the chestnuts roasting on an open fire ... the sound of jingle bells and silver bells ... the little oinkers squealing that Santa Claus is coming to town ... some like a white Christmas so they're saying let it snow, let it snow, let it snow ... then of course, there's the Elvis fans who'd rather have a blue Christmas ... either way, it'll be a winter wonderland ... so deck the halls cause I'll be home for Christmas ... and if we let the jingle bell rock we'll be rockin' around the Christmas tree until it came upon a midnight clear ... o come all ye faithful Christmas lovers and let's go tell it on the mountain ... cause from me and my house - we wish you a merry Christmas!

 

 

Hey, I told you to stay out of the shot - nobody knows you're here!

Merry Christmas!

Pig 12 Championship!

That's right!!!!! Boomer Sooner all the way!!!!!!!   WooooooHooooooo!!!!!  Go Big Red!!!!!!!  OinkOinkOinkOink --  uh, I mean -- Take that Huskers!!!!!!!  Hmmmm, I like corn husks.  No ...  I EAT corn husks - for breakfast!!!!!!!!!

 

Pass me those tortilla chips.

All By Myself

When I was young

I never needed anyone

And making love was just for fun

Those days are gone

Livin alone

I think of all the friends I've known

When I dial the telephone

Nobody's home

All by myself

Don't wanna be

All by myself

Anymore

My Ladies

Oh yah, who's the Ladies' Man?  I'm the Ladies' Man.  Me 'n my two favorite ladies, out on the town - Honey and Glazed.  They're sisters - you know - the Hamm sisters from Pepperidge Farm.

Mmmmmmmmmm.......

Oh yah - I likes my ice cream.  Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmmm.  Hey - Don't be a tightwad with the sprinkles!  More chocolate over there... SPOON!  Who's got my spoon!?!?!

It's Game Time!

Let's Thunder Up!  Let's Thunder Up!  Can't visit OKC without seeing my homies the THUNDER players!  Whassssssup Rumble!!!!!! From your fav mammal!

The Great Pumpkin

I think that Linus kid had knew what he was talking about.  I didn't wait out in the pumpkin patch myself, but my cousin - Hamm Hock - he did.  And he saw it!  I mean, he really saw it - the Great Pumpkin - I swear!  If it'd been my other cousin, Pork Belly, who saw it, I'd say - No Way!  But it was Hamm - Hamm don't make stuff up like that.  Don't get me wrong, Hamm has his vices (can anyone say Suuuuu-eeeeee!).  But making stuff up is not one of them. Next year, me n' Hamm - we're gonna check out that Great Pumpkin guy.

Dam Pig

Gee, I can't think of anything funnier than that.

The Mother Road

Still gettin my kicks on Route 66!  I want you to look at something...  Check out those leafless trees and brown grass out there behind me.  OK, I know it's fall, but will ya look at that!  It's like 75 degrees out here & it's almost winter-time.  Yesterday the high was 45!  Do I wear a jacket or do I go in shirt-sleeves?!?!  Who knows!!!!!  So it's like one day there's definitive proof of global warming...the next day, not so much.  No wonder we can't figure it out!

Get Your Kicks On Route 66

You know how us bowling mascots are...can't pass an alley without stopping in to knock down a few.  Especially this alley - SAY IT ISN'T SO!!!!!!!!  They've auctioned off the famous Route 66!!!!  Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  All the good times, gone... I... can't... believe... it...

BOOMER SOONER!

Sooner born and Sooner bred - when I die I'll be Sooner dead!  Rah, Oklahoma!  Rah, Oklahoma!  Rah, Oklahoma!  OK U!
BOOMER ...
BOOMER ...
Come on man!  Do I need to call Billy Sims - he'd SOONER me back.  No, on second thought, I'm definitely not calling Billy.  He's been trying to get me to come down to Norman for weeks - have lunch.  Yeah right - BE lunch is more like it!
BOOMER ...

OK, forget it already.  Hey shout-out to my man Tyler the Rufnek!  Sorry don't know his friend's name - shout-out to you too!

Foodie

Some of my favorite hog troughs -

2 all beef patties - special sauce - lettuce - cheese - pickles - onion - on a sesame seed bun!

"pick up ribs inside store" Where would you think you'd pick them up? 

Love that green beer...

 Hog Heaven is right!

  Throw me a roll!!!!

Livin' the Good Life

I told you not to put anything personal in there!  I don't want those bowling bums showing up on my front door asking for a hand-out!  Come on man!  Respect the pig!  Give me some privacy for crying out loud!  I'm warning you - I'm gonna get a restraining order!

Porker Run

Me 'n my bud, Road Hawg, gettin ready for a Poker Run.  I was trying to get my leathers and my skid lid on, but the Hawg was callin' me a sissy - he just wears that dumb do-rag and a leather vest - but after that last case of road rash, I don't take any chances.  'Course it's not like we're gonna smear the pavement on that big ol' Harley he rides, but ya gotta set a good example for the porklets.  These kids now days, zippin around on those stupid crotch-rockets think they're immortal - won't wear a brain bucket cause it's not cooool.  Dumb kids.

Summer Time and the Livin Is Easy

Ahhhhh, summer...the smell of freshly cut grass, the warm gentle breeze, the gentle sound of the lazy river as it meanders its way downstream, the BLAZING HOT sun that's frying me into a bag of PORK RINDS as we speak!!!!!!!  Who says there's no such thing as global warming?!?!  It's hotter 'n hades out here!  It's gotta be 120 in the shade!  You know what happens to fat when it gets warm - it starts to sizzle.  If I don't find some air conditioning soon, I'm gonna start peeling off strips of bacon!  Anyone want a BLT, how 'bout a Club Sandwich?

Clowns Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep Me Out!!!!!!!!!!!

Arrrrrrgggggghhhhhh!  Somebody help me get outta here!!!!!!! 
I'm serious man - get me outta here!!!!!!!!

Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

Smokey the Bear - another one of my favorite mammals!

Me and Smokey go way back.  Actually we're 2nd cousins thrice removed.  We've traced our ancestors back to great uncle Ham Hock and great aunt Griz Lee Bear.  They were a smokin' hot couple back in the day!  Made a huge stink when they got hitched.

The Brick

Speaking of OKC, you can't visit the capitol city of the Sooner State without a trip to the ballpark - Bricktown Ballpark that is (as if there's any other).  I showed up to see my man Mark Harmon and his team play in their annual charity game.

Me and Mark, we're like this!  My people and his people are currently negotiating a deal for a future episode of NCIS.  It's kind of a touchy negotiation - you know, with the whole Ziva-who-won't-touch-a-pig thing :o(  Anyway, it's in the works - maybe next season - Mark really wants it to happen.  Ziva may have to go back to Masoud for an episode or two. So we just hung out at the ballpark for now - there were some other supposedly famous guys there too - big whoop.

Praying for a Bigger Piggybank

If I built a 90 ft tall pair of praying hooves, do you think anybody would send me money?

Miami Vice

Oh yah, just got back from vacation in sunny Miami.  What A Town!  Worked on my tan, sipped Mai Tai's down on the beach, checked out all the local hot spots - it was great!

Checked out a few Heat games...

el Neuvo Herald...

 Fun in the Sun...                                         

Babelicious...

My condo... not the high-rise - the hacienda in front of the high-rise - pigs don't do elevators...

 Where's that waiter?

Is that Sonny Crockett and Tubbs?!?!